If you will be seeing a high school senior this holiday season- remember, asking "What's going on with the college search?" doesn't have to be the first question or the only topic of conversation...


Dear Parents and Family of High School Seniors,

Your teens are feeling a lot of stress!

Many have been struggling with depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges for years. This year, things may get worse.

Right now, high school seniors are working on college applications, a process that forces them to review their high school years and start “selling themselves” to colleges. They might be re-taking standardized tests or learning to “be satisfied” with previous results.
 
Some are waiting to hear Early Decision results, often from their “dream school”. They have to deal with real or potential rejections, be part of some serious financial conversations regarding tuitions, and face the upcoming reality of leaving their high school and friends for the “great unknown” of college or the work force.

Add to this a rigorous academic course load, part-time employment, volunteer work, leadership positions in school, dating, friendships, fitting in free-time, and trying to navigate the challenging emergence of their “adult” self at home, school, and out in the world.

Make it a point to check in with your high school seniors and see how they’re doing. Be sure to have conversations that don’t focus on academics, college applications, or testing!

Accept that they might be short-tempered, hurried, pre-occupied, and even rude! When this happens, instead of rushing to criticize, punish, or minimize their concerns, be a curious and supportive resource for them.

Be curious.

Ask them, “What’s going on?" "How can I help?” “Can you help me to understand what you’re experiencing?”

Listen to them vent. Validate their feelings.

 Offer them empathy and compassion.

Reassure them that their grades, scores, and colleges don’t define who they are as people AND realize that these things are important to them right now.
 
Encourage them to enjoy senior year despite the challenges they’re facing AND realize that they may need help in managing all the factors they’re dealing with.

Enjoy having them around!

Something important to consider…

If you have a gun in your home- now would be a good time to remove it. Teenagers and gun access are a deadly mix.

The teenage brain can be very impulsive. A rejection from a dream school, a relationship ending, a falling out with friends, or a harsh punishment from a parent can cause a teen to impulsively end their life.

If your teen is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, having a gun in the home carries an added risk for them.

It only takes a second for an impulsive suicidal thought to take hold. Having access to a gun can be deadly for your teen.

Even in a home where guns are “stored safely” (locked up and bullets stored separately) teens often find and use those weapons on themselves.

Family rules regarding gun access and a teen’s “knowledge and respect” for a weapon will be disregarded when suicidal impulses are present.

Many times, the first knowledge that a teen was struggling is their death by suicide.

Be sure to let your teen know that it’s ok to share with you whatever feelings they’re having.

Give them “permission” to seek help. Encourage them to get help.

Take advantage of school counselors or mental health professionals to help you navigate this difficult time. If one of their friends reaches out to you with concern, pay attention.

Senior year in high school can be a very challenging time, but also a very exciting time.

Being a calm, connected, and curious parent can increase the chances that your teenager will have a safe and successful senior year!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call or text 988.